That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
