Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Princesses don't give blow jobs
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
