Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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