Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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