I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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