There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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