but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
