Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
third nipple confirmed
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
