im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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