i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
