Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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