strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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