you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
