I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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