I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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