this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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