New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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