I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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