Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?

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(209): View more from California

I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.

(859): View more from Kentucky

Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.

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(913): View more from Kansas

just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"

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(816): View more from Missouri

I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either

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(812): View more from Indiana

Baby Shark came on during sex.

(812): View more from Indiana

She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?

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