I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
sex in a hospital.. check
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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