I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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