we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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