i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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