In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
