the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
