Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
