eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ladies don't puke and tell
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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