I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
