She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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