Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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