Nicole vs. Life
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
