She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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