I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
