we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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