Walk of Shame. In a state park.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
