i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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