he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
