Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My legs feel like baby dolphins