I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
