How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize
