i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
