The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
MIDGETS
????
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
