that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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