What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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