you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize
