No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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