i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
