Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
