..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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