Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
