Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize