Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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