at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
that may or may not have been my penis.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
