So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
