I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
