dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
