I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
