Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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