he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
