May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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