I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
