Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize